Air Travel Sex Guide: Sex in the Lavatories

For the comfort and consideration of all passengers, we request that couples limit their sessions to 15 minutes or less, whether or not climax is achieved. Please engage the "Having Sex" sign on the lavatory door so that you will not be disturbed.

To facilitate sex in the close quarters of an airline lavatory, may we suggest the following positions. Due to the size of the facilities, threesomes are prohibited.Seated sex positions are recommended if the airplane encounters turbulence.We must remind you that smoking after sex or tampering with a lavatory smoke detector are federal offenses.

Blow Job (Sitting)
If emergency fecal evacuation is required, this position may be used for performing a blumpkin maneuver. In this case, be sure the commode lid is OPEN.

Blow Job (Standing)
If you do not swallow, please spit into the commode, or alternately, the sink.

Cunnilingus
To avoid being overwhelmed by a foul odor, be sure that the commode lid is shut before your female partner is seated. If the commode is closed and you are still overwhelmed by a foul odor during cunnilingus, we suggest your partner review basic hygiene procedures. Unfortunately, due to space considerations, an in-flight bidet is not available.

Fingering (Seated)
After inserting a hand into your partner’s panties, digitally stimulate her clitoris using up-and-down, side-to-side, or circular motions. If you cannot locate the clitoris, refer to the detailed diagram on the other side of this card.