Air Travel Sex Guide: Intercourse

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Air Travel Sex Guide: Sex in the Lavatories

For the comfort and consideration of all passengers, we request that couples limit their sessions to 15 minutes or less, whether or not climax is achieved. Please engage the "Having Sex" sign on the lavatory door so that you will not be disturbed.

To facilitate sex in the close quarters of an airline lavatory, may we suggest the following positions. Due to the size of the facilities, threesomes are prohibited.Seated sex positions are recommended if the airplane encounters turbulence.We must remind you that smoking after sex or tampering with a lavatory smoke detector are federal offenses.

Blow Job (Sitting)
If emergency fecal evacuation is required, this position may be used for performing a blumpkin maneuver. In this case, be sure the commode lid is OPEN.

Blow Job (Standing)
If you do not swallow, please spit into the commode, or alternately, the sink.

Cunnilingus
To avoid being overwhelmed by a foul odor, be sure that the commode lid is shut before your female partner is seated. If the commode is closed and you are still overwhelmed by a foul odor during cunnilingus, we suggest your partner review basic hygiene procedures. Unfortunately, due to space considerations, an in-flight bidet is not available.

Fingering (Seated)
After inserting a hand into your partner’s panties, digitally stimulate her clitoris using up-and-down, side-to-side, or circular motions. If you cannot locate the clitoris, refer to the detailed diagram on the other side of this card.

Air Travel Sex Guide: Sex While Seated

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The Art of The Dogging

Dogging etiquette

Don't attract unwanted attention
Driving around aimlessly at a dogging spot desperately looking for action is a sure way to bring law enforcement down on you. And, of course, this will ruin it for every other dogger there. When you show up at a dogging spot, be discreet and patient. If you're in the right place, something will go down.

Relax
Don't be aggressive or overly persistent, or you will frighten everyone away.

Use protection
Always use condoms. A no-brainer, really, as you are potentially going to have sex with a stranger or strangers.

Be respectful
Respect the women at a dogging event. Without them, it would be a sausage fest. This means no touching the ladies without expressed consent.

Clean up after you're done
Remove all traces of sexual activity such as condom wrappers, condoms, tissues, panties... whatever. The second that regular park-goers find a used rubber in the pristine grass, the cops will start clamping down on doggers.

Keep it legal
In the U.K., dogging is not exactly illegal, as the law is a little sketchy about public nudity. In the U.S., this practice is going to be more of a challenge to do legally. Know the laws of the land when it comes to public displays of affection. Even if you like being watched, you don't want Mr. John Q. Law peeking through your window.

Know how to protect yourself

There are a few simple things you can do to protect yourself when dogging.

Store valuables
All your valuables should go in the glove box; lock them up, if possible. Your powered-up and charged cell phone should always be ready for use... just in case.

Keep the car doors locked
Do so unless you trust the person or people outside. Always have a dependable flashlight stashed somewhere in the car.

Leave the engine running
Many doggers leave the car ignition on in case an emergency warrants getting away in a hurry. I'm not suggesting that you peel out in the middle of the event or anything; it's just a safety measure to let other people know that you will leave at the first sign of trouble.

Some doggone fun

In the last couple of years, dogging has really taken off in popularity. The thrill of watching or having people watch you have sex, and the excitement of getting caught teamed with the safety of having a cell phone on you if something goes wrong makes the idea feasible. It's fun.. but remember that it's not legal. That's probably half the fun of it.