Guy's gone nuts after finding I've a sex toys

Question:
MY boyfriend and I had a huge bust-up because I went out and bought a vibrator. Our sex life has been getting a bit dull for the past six months.

He's ten years older than me - but only 35 - yet he's constantly knackered and we only make love once or twice a week.

When he found my sex toy he accused me of being selfish and not caring about his feelings. Now he's sulking and getting on my nerves so much I feel like walking out.

What did I do that was so wrong?

Tina

Answer:
NOTHING - but telling him first might have helped. I assume you didn't buy the biggest vibrator in the shop, because that could make your man feel a tad inadequate...

I suspect he is so upset because he's feeling down about his lack of sex drive - even if he won't admit it. He needs a check-up to make sure there's no medical reason why he's gone off the boil - then persuade him that you can both enjoy the benefits of your new toy by experimenting together in bed.

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Miss Universe 2007: Miss Sweden drops out amid criticism

Miss Sweden 2007, Isabel Lestapier Winqvist, dropped out Miss Universe 2007 pageant because of a change of heart among Swedes who think that the competition is degrading to women.

Miss Universe organizers dispute Swedes point of view by saying that the contest carefully selects women who are intelligent, well-mannered and cultured.

"With each passing year our ratings continue to get better because of the beautiful and intelligent women who participate in our competitions," Miss Universe co-owner Donald Trump said.

Isabel Lestapier Winqvist was crowned Miss Sweden on April 21, by her precursor, Josephine Alhanko, who was semi-finalist at the Miss Universe 2006 pageant, held in Hollywood.

"We will miss Miss Sweden." was the laconic comment of Miss Universe organizers, Miss Sweden contest organizer Panos Papadopoulos said.

Lucie Hadasova topless photo turns Miss Universe 2007 red hot

Miss Czech Republic and Miss Universe contestant Lucie Hadasova topless picture surface; the picture was published on the front page of Prague's tabloid Aha.

A beauty pageant without some nude pictures is like bread without butter; it still tastes good, just not good enough. The latest topless picture to surface is the one of Miss Czech Republic Lucie Hadasova.

The nude photo could turn into a true nightmare for Lucie Hadasova. Miss Nevada USA Katie Rees was dethroned from this year's competition after her racy pictures emerged on the Web.
Criticism surrounding the recent withrawal of Miss Sweden from the ultimate beauty pageant could lead Miss Universe organizers to sanction Lucie's topless picture.

Her odds to be crowned Miss Universe 2007 are currently sitting at +3200 at BetUS.com, however it could be wise not to bet on her pending developments on the nude picture.

Air Travel Sex Guide: Intercourse

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Air Travel Sex Guide: Sex in the Lavatories

For the comfort and consideration of all passengers, we request that couples limit their sessions to 15 minutes or less, whether or not climax is achieved. Please engage the "Having Sex" sign on the lavatory door so that you will not be disturbed.

To facilitate sex in the close quarters of an airline lavatory, may we suggest the following positions. Due to the size of the facilities, threesomes are prohibited.Seated sex positions are recommended if the airplane encounters turbulence.We must remind you that smoking after sex or tampering with a lavatory smoke detector are federal offenses.

Blow Job (Sitting)
If emergency fecal evacuation is required, this position may be used for performing a blumpkin maneuver. In this case, be sure the commode lid is OPEN.

Blow Job (Standing)
If you do not swallow, please spit into the commode, or alternately, the sink.

Cunnilingus
To avoid being overwhelmed by a foul odor, be sure that the commode lid is shut before your female partner is seated. If the commode is closed and you are still overwhelmed by a foul odor during cunnilingus, we suggest your partner review basic hygiene procedures. Unfortunately, due to space considerations, an in-flight bidet is not available.

Fingering (Seated)
After inserting a hand into your partner’s panties, digitally stimulate her clitoris using up-and-down, side-to-side, or circular motions. If you cannot locate the clitoris, refer to the detailed diagram on the other side of this card.

Air Travel Sex Guide: Sex While Seated

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fancy an SMS-fired Bluetooth sex toy vibrator?

Our female readers are invited to imagine the folllowing scenario: It's Monday, you're at work, you're bored, you're thinking "how could I possibly spice up this trawl of the 2,000 weekend emails in my inbox?" when it occurs to you that if someone were to invent an SMS-triggered Bluetooth vibrator then your partner could bring you to an earth-shattering climax simply by texting a few sweet words of lurv, leaving you totally satisfied as a woman and fit to face the most daunting online task.

Well, you're in luck, because UK outfit the Cool & Groovy Toy Company Ltd has plugged this particular gap in the life-enhancing technology market with The Toy, described as a "hi-tech vibrating bullet". The blurb explains:

Connected to a mobile phone with Bluetooth it becomes an intimate, silent connection between two lovers, regardless of distance. Custom designed for your pleasure, it is intelligent, sophisticated and invented for bliss. The Toy is worn internally, linked to a mobile phone and controlled by sms text messages sent to the phone. Once read, the message is transported automatically to The Toy, which turns it into vibrations - with a huge range of movements, depending on what you have written. Just say what you feel, The Toy will do the rest.

Good Lord. Apparently, you crack off a quick SMS containing a secret six-digit tag which enables the device. Twenty-six letters each have three "different movement profiles" with five speeds and three time settings. This allows 45 possible effects from any single letter and an astounding "7200 variations from a single text message".

No, we haven't really got a clue what that's all about, so let's have a quick shufti at the specs. Suffice it to say, we're talking cutting edge electronics, intelligent CPU and turbo-boost circuitry packed into a throbbing 90mm of can javelin. Oh yes, it also has a 14.5 cm high tensile coated cable antenna which doubles as a handy extractor - a nice touch.

Finally, The Toy is "not discoverable in a Bluetooth search", so there's no chance of your other half being molested by a wireless groper

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